Bam Bam’s story
Funny things you hear in dressing rooms…
Here’s just a short little story that Bam Bam Bigelow told me while we sat backstage in at a small independent show somewhere in Ohio. Please don’t ask me where because quite frankly, I don’t know.
I can’t remember what we were talking about but the conversation drifted to Bam Bam being drug tested while he was in the old WWF. This is how old stories turn into legendary tales.
The time frame was in the early 90’s and Vince McMahon was under all kinds of federal investigations over steroids, pain pills, marijuana, cocaine and the like. As a result, WWF had instituted mandatory drug testing of all contracted talent for usage of the illicit substances. In case you’re wondering, Bam Bam didn’t like this testing policy at all but he told me he tried to work around it.
Drug tests were random and usually, after awhile, the wrestlers could more or less gauge when a test was coming. Sometimes, Bam Bam said that the wrestlers would be tipped off in advance from someone deep inside the office or he said that one time, Vince McMahon told him personally to get his act together because a drug test was coming down and even gave him the date. Usually, drug tests were every 90 days almost like clockwork for the first year or so.
When Bam Bam heard a drug test was imminent, he had to know well in advance so he could stay away from smoking pot. One bad thing about marijuana though is that it can be detected in a drug test up to 30 days after exposure. So if a drug test was every 90 days, Bam Bam made a note to stop smoking 58 days after the test.
With cocaine or pain pills, it’s usually out of the body’s system in 72 to 96 hours but Bam Bam said he didn’t have to worry about those drugs because he only smoked marijuana.
BamBam got the tip that WWF was going to drug test on a small spot show about 100 miles outside New York City on a Saturday night in January.
The show was close to NYC because the next night, WWF was running a huge Sunday night Madison Square Garden show. Bam Bam just thought that the drug test was going to be in NYC but for some reason, it had been moved up a day.
So since Bam Bam knew the drug test would be going on, he said he was a clean as a whistle. He told me that the closest he’d been in contact with any drugs was a handful of Advil he took for aches and pains
BamBam said he went into the bathroom, peed in the cup and handed it to the technician. He knew he was clean and he was happy. Happier than a pig in slop Bam Bam said. Now he could resume his pot smoking because he knew he had 58 days without being tested. Oh yeah, Bam Bam noted. Life is for those who figure out the angles.
Bam Bam thought that he was the smartest rooster in the barnyard because he…had the system all figured out. According to Bam Bam’s assessment of the situation, it didn’t present a problem if you just understood the timing.
As soon as the Saturday night show was over, Bam Bam said he hopped in his car and as soon as he saw the building in his rearview mirror, he fired up a joint he’d been saving for over a month because he was going to enjoy his trip to his home in New Jersey. He was happy and content that he was free to fire up the old joint whenever he wanted for the next 58 days.
The next day, he left his house in the late afternoon for the short 90-minute drive into New York City. On the way, Bam Bam was feeling pretty good and he told me he actually smoked two joints on the New Jersey Turnpike on the way to the Garden. BamBam said that since he didn’t get the luxury of smoking weed at his leisure, he was taking FULL advantage of this little window of opportunity that the WWF had given him. BamBam Bam fully intended to take advantage of this opportunity.
BamBam arrived at the Garden stoned like SnoopDog and Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead combined, he said. BamBam said he was happy and weed always made him happy as he walked into the hallway leading to the dressing rooms at the Garden. I could see Bam Bam was enjoying this story and I was too.
Bam Bam said he entered with a smile on his face but his smile changed quickly as he suddenly spied on the wall, a posted MEMO that slapped him back into reality which was a world that Bam Bam was trying to escape. The sign read:
BamBam said he knew he was sunk but he had no choice. He walked into the room and said it was the same guy that had administered the test the night before. BamBam said the guy even commented., “hey didn’t we just see each other last night”? And he laughed. But something tells me that Bam Bam didn’t share in the humor.
BamBam said that not only did he fail the test, he was still ‘high’ when he took it. I said to Bam Bam…”they screwed you?” Bam Bam laughed and said it was more like they f’ed him. Bam Bam was suspended for 30 days without pay and he said that while he was out, he wouldn’t be able to smoke any dope at all because of marijuana’s 30 day window of detection.
Bam Bam looked at me and said, “maybe I didn’t have the system figured like I thought I did”. Then he laughed and said that’s my WWF drug story.
True Story…or at least BamBam said it was.
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